THE LEGUME LIBERATION STARTS HERE!

Discover the absurd, revolutionary world of Bean Play™, where everyday pantry staples become gateways to eco-sexual satire and sustainable hedonism! In this comedic guide, self-appointed “online sex educator” Max Levio explores the playful, fictional universe where beans become symbols of organic pleasure, presence, and parody.

From the “sensual science of texture” to edible-lube humor, ritual spoofs, and mock “bean levels,” this book transforms the humble legume into an over-the-top metaphor for reconnecting with nature, no batteries, apps, or synthetic modern trends required.

Blending ancient gooning lore with modern comedic exaggeration, Bean Play™ dives into myth-busting, legume anatomy, the “12 Mainstays,” fictional social etiquette, bean recovery groups, and even a satirical look at “weaning from beaning.” You’ll also explore eco-sexual rallies, global bean movements, and a starchy future where science meets silliness.

With a foreword by Cook, the eternal edge-master — this book delivers high-commitment parody, playful world-building, and nonstop laughs. Perfect for fans of satirical self-help, absurd humor, and anyone who enjoys comedy disguised as a serious guide.

Important Note: This is a work of fiction and medical parody. Nothing within is real or meant to be attempted. 

PLEASE DON'T SUE US (lmao)